What Your Body’s Trying to Tell You About Stress (And Why It Matters)

Have you ever had that moment where you snap at someone you love over something so small, or you just feel wiped out, on edge, and not really yourself? Maybe you’re exhausted and wondering, “Why am I acting like this?” You’re not alone. Actually, there’s a lot happening beneath the surface that most of us aren’t aware of, and understanding it can be a game-changer.

There’s a term in science—allostatic load—that describes something pretty simple, but profound: it’s the wear and tear that your body accumulates from being in a state of “fight or flight” for too long. It’s not just feeling stressed in the moment; it’s the lasting toll that stress takes over time.

Think of it like this: your nervous system is constantly trying to keep you balanced. When stress is high, it raises your alarms—your heart races, your muscles tighten, your head gets foggy. If that’s happening all the time, you’re in a state that’s not sustainable. And that’s where you start feeling off—not just tired, but emotionally on edge, less patient, and more reactive.

What Happens When We Push Too Hard

A little stress? It can be useful. It helps you stay alert, sharp, and motivated. But when you’re in that state all the time—running from one thing to the next—your body starts to change how it works.

Chronic stress shifts your body into a different state—overload—and that’s where real issues surface. It’s like your system starts to break down instead of operate smoothly.

Here’s what happens inside your brain and body when that’s happening:

• Your brain shifts gears.
  When stress piles up, your emotional center swings to the right hemisphere—the part associated with withdrawal, negativity, and feeling overwhelmed. Instead of feeling connected or curious, you’re defensive, irritable, and quick to retreat. It’s a survival response, but it can make even small conflicts feel insurmountable.

• Your body signals ‘sickness.’
  When that stress persists, your immune system releases chemicals called cytokines—kind of like the chemicals your body uses when fighting off the flu. These cause feelings of fatigue, brain fog, social withdrawal, and mood drops—what scientists call “sickness behavior.” The result? You’re more irritable, more exhausted, and less able to handle stress constructively.

Why Quick Fixes Don’t Work

I work with busy people—executives, entrepreneurs, leaders—who are often expected to keep going no matter what. Jumping into a quick meditation or taking a day off isn’t always realistic, or even feasible. And honestly, telling someone to “just relax” doesn’t address the deeper issue.

Chronic stress rewires how your nervous system responds. It lowers chemicals that help you feel calm and balanced—making even small irritations feel like big problems. That short fuse isn’t a character flaw, it’s a sign that your system is pushed too hard.

The Stress Response Cycle

Here's what the cycle looks like:

• Long-term stress increases what’s called allostatic load.

• That makes you physically and emotionally tired, foggy, and irritable.

• When you feel that way, you respond more defensively, which stirs up conflict.

• The conflict creates more stress, which pushes your load even higher.

It’s a downward spiral, and it can be tough to pull out of—unless you’re intentional about how you manage it.

What I Help Clients With

Over the years, I’ve learned that the most important thing isn’t just trying to “think positive” or “push through.” It’s learning to recognize when your body is making it clear things are too much and having ways to take a pause—no matter how busy things are.

Most importantly, it’s about finding what works for you. Not everyone can take a long walk or meditate for an hour, especially not on a hectic day. In therapy, I work with clients to develop personalized strategies that help bring down those stress levels—these are some of the tools and practices I often recommend:

1. Mindful Awareness and Body Scanning
Learning to tune into your body and notice the early signs of stress—tight shoulders, shallow breathing, a racing heart—can help you catch overload before it spins out of control. I teach clients simple mindfulness exercises and body scans that foster a gentle awareness, creating space between stimulus and reaction.

2. Creating Your Personal Off-Ramp
This might be a quick grounding exercise, a short walk outside, a few deep breaths, or even a mantra. The key is to identify what helps you feel more connected and calm, and then practice it regularly so it becomes your go-to when things get overwhelming.

3. Regulation Skills and Emotional Literacy
Understanding what you’re feeling and why is powerful. I guide clients to develop emotional vocabulary—so instead of feeling “bad,” they can pinpoint if they’re anxious, frustrated, or exhausted. Recognizing these feelings enables targeted strategies to regulate them.

4. Rituals of Connection and Rest
Building routines that nurture your nervous system—like consistent sleep schedules, gentle movement like walking or yoga, or regular check-ins with a loved one—can make a huge difference over time. Cultivating a sense of safety and predictability in your daily life helps reduce overall cortisol levels and inflammation.

5. Cognitive Reframing and Compassionate Self-Talk
Part of burnout is often a harsh internal narrator. I work with clients to develop a more compassionate inner voice—reminding themselves that stress is normal, that they're doing their best, and that taking care of themselves isn’t selfish.

6. Small, Manageable Goals
Rather than trying to overhaul your entire life overnight, we focus on small, achievable steps. Whether it’s drinking more water, taking five minutes for a breathing exercise, or scheduling a weekly walk, these small wins add up to big change.

Breaking this cycle begins with awareness and realistic self-compassion—recognizing early signs without judgment and trusting that even small, manageable shifts count.

Rather than aiming for perfect solutions, it’s about meeting yourself where you are. Sometimes a brief pause to notice your breath, a subtle boundary with a colleague or loved one, or simply acknowledging tension is enough to start interrupting overwhelm. Accepting what you can’t change now without labeling it failure is part of the process too.