Uncover, Understand, Transform: A Structured Approach to Couples Therapy
A Deep Dive into Your Relationship
You are here because the way you have been relating is no longer working.
Maybe you are stuck in a loop of conflict where the same argument repeats without resolution. Maybe you are managing a high functioning life but the connection between you has thinned into silence. Or perhaps you are standing in the wreckage of a betrayal, trying to determine if there is enough ground left to rebuild.
Whatever the symptom, the root cause is rarely just the issue of the day. It is usually a pattern, a rigid dance that you and your partner have perfected over time. My role is to help you see that dance, understand why you learned the steps, and give you the freedom to choose a new way of moving together.
The Architecture of Our Work
I do not believe in guessing. To truly help you shift your dynamic, I need a comprehensive view of who you are, both together and apart. This is why I structure the initial phase of our work to include both joint sessions and individual discovery.
The Individual Deep Dive In the presence of your partner, you are naturally managing their reaction. To get to the core, I need to see you alone. In these individual sessions, we explore the history you carry. We look at your family of origin, your attachment style, and the protective strategies you built early in life to keep yourself safe. Often, the very armor that protected you as a child is what prevents you from connecting as an adult. We work to increase your self awareness so you can stop reacting from your past and start showing up in your present.
The Couples Work When we come together, we focus on the space between you. We move beyond the content of your fights to the process of your relating. We identify the cycle of criticism and defense, pursuit and withdrawal. I help you spot the gap between what you mean to say and what your partner hears, and I provide the tools to close it.
Areas of Focus
We will not just talk about your week. We will tackle the deeper currents that drive your relationship.
Communication. We move past misunderstandings to a place of true hearing.
Conflict. We learn to navigate disagreement without rupture.
Intimacy. We address the vulnerability required to feel safe, seen, and desired.
Betrayal. For those navigating infidelity, we create a structured environment to process the pain and determine if a new, honest trust can be built.
My Stance: Active and Direct
If you are looking for a therapist who will passively listen while you rehash the arguments of the week, I am likely not the right fit.
My approach is active, directive, and compassionate. I view the therapy room as a laboratory where we change the experiment. I will not let you hurt each other in my presence. I will interrupt the pattern when I see it. I will challenge you to look at your own role in the dynamic, and I will support you as you try new, often difficult, ways of being vulnerable.
Discernment Counseling For couples standing on the brink of separation, I offer a specific track called Discernment Counseling. This is a short term process designed not to fix the relationship, but to gain clarity. We honor the complexity of your history to determine if the path forward is a renewed commitment to repair, or a transition to separate lives with dignity.
The Outcome
My goal is not to keep you in therapy indefinitely. It is to help you graduate.
I want you to leave my office with a lucid understanding of your dynamic and a toolkit of actionable skills. I want you to know exactly how you contribute to your own challenges, and exactly what you need to do to thrive.
If you are ready to do the work, I am ready to help.
